Is It Me, the System, or Something Heavier?
Where you are: Module 3 · Lesson 17 of 30 · about 26 minutes (reading 12, practice 8, checkpoint 6). Lesson 16 gave you a check for one moment. This lesson helps you decide, when a difficulty keeps coming back, whether it is about you, about the system, or something heavier that needs support beyond this course.
What you'll be able to do
- Sort a repeated difficulty into three kinds: a habit worth self-coaching, a system problem, or something heavier.
- Name four common kinds of system problem: staffing, authority, skills and training, and incentives.
- Choose a sound first action for each kind, without a Level, a score or a diagnosis.
Three kinds of difficulty
When your open-or-narrowed line says "narrowed" again and again, the next question is why. There are three common answers, and more than one can be true at once. The table is this course's own design, not a tested tool.
| Kind | What it often looks like | First action |
|---|---|---|
| Me: a habit worth self-coaching | The same response appears in different conditions, including calm, well-staffed weeks, and your authority is clear. | Choose one observable behaviour to practise, and write a private line after the next two moments. |
| System | The difficulty follows the work. It eases when conditions change, and others in the same role struggle too. | Fix what is inside your authority. Escalate the rest with facts and options. |
| Something heavier | Heaviness that lasts for weeks, spreads into sleep, health or life outside work, or does not ease when work eases. Reflecting leaves you feeling worse, not clearer. | Talk to a suitable professional or a support service. |
Four common kinds of system problem
- Staffing: there are fewer people than the work needs.
- Authority: it is unclear who may decide or approve something.
- Skills and training: people were not shown how to do what is now asked of them.
- Incentives: what is rewarded is not what is wanted.
There are others, such as broken tools and conflicting priorities.
Me and system often come together. A staffing gap can make any manager sharper. When the system is the main driver, fix or escalate it first: coaching yourself will not create a missing person. Then coach yourself on the part that is yours, such as what you said and how you said it. The system explains your response; it does not erase its effect on other people.
Escalating with evidence is not complaining. For anything outside your authority, go to the person who can decide. Bring the facts (dates and numbers), the effect on the work, and one or two options. Write in your record what you raised, to whom and when. If the first approach does not work, that is information, not proof that you failed.
What "something heavier" means here
This is a self-awareness course for work. It is not therapy, and it cannot assess anyone's health. The signs in the table are not a checklist for diagnosing yourself or anyone else. They are good reasons to talk to someone qualified, and so is any distress that worries you. Chestnut and Paes recommend asking for help: therapy with a professional you like and trust, for deeper personal work (PDF page 272).
Support options differ by place and organisation. They may include a doctor or other licensed health professional, a licensed counsellor or therapist, and your workplace's HR or employee support process. Ask how a service handles confidentiality before you share details. This course names no phone numbers or services, and cannot promise that any service exists for you. Seeking support means self-coaching no longer carries the whole load.
If anyone may be in danger now, use your workplace emergency process or local emergency services. If distress is heavy or lasting, talk to a suitable professional. A reflection exercise never comes before getting help.
Where the Levels fit
None of the three kinds is a Level, and you do not need a Level to choose a first action. As Lessons 14 and 15 showed, the sources give no way to tell movement along the Levels from mood or circumstance in a person. The Enneagram Institute says the Levels can help therapists and counselors; that is professional work, not a manager's task. Nobody is diagnosed, and distress that lasts or worries you is reason enough to ask for support.
Worked example
Three short vignettes, each with a kind and a first action. The third is a case about no real person.
1. Haya leads a refunds team. Three times in October a customer asked for a refund above SAR 500. Each time Haya did not know whether she or her manager could approve it, so she held the request for a day to ask. Customers complained twice.
- Kind: system, authority.
- First action: ask her manager to confirm in writing which refund amounts she may approve. Until then, tell customers when they will have an answer.
- Why: the gap is about who may decide. Self-coaching would not tell her what her limit is.
2. Jasim supervises a call-handling team. The Sunday shift from eight until noon needs five people. Since a resignation three weeks ago there have been four. On two of the last three Sundays he spoke sharply to the team.
- Kind: system, staffing, with a smaller part that is his own.
- First action: raise the shortage with the person who decides on cover, with the dates, the numbers and one or two options. Then repair with the team.
- Why: his own effort does not create a fifth person. His sharp words still had an effect, and he can own that.
3. Imagine a manager (a case about no real person) who for ten weeks has felt heavy and flat on most days, including at weekends and during a week of leave. She is sleeping badly. A quiet week at work did not ease it.
- Kind: something heavier.
- First action: talk to a suitable professional or a support service, asking first how it handles confidentiality.
- Why: it reaches beyond work and does not ease when work eases. Nobody names a condition or a Level.
Your turn
Do this privately, in your own record.
Part 1. Sort six situations. For each, give the kind (me, system or something heavier; for system, say which kind) and the first action, with one reason. Assign no condition and no Level to anyone. Situation 6 is a manager's note: say whether it can be written as it stands.
- Tarek has interrupted people in meetings across three jobs, in calm weeks and busy ones. His team is fully staffed and he knows what he may decide.
- Since mid-August Mansour has felt on edge on most days and cannot switch off, even on his days off. He is sleeping badly. A quiet fortnight in September did not ease it.
- On Sunday Ahmad's team switched to a new booking system. By Tuesday four of six people were making the same entry error. Two said nobody had shown them that screen. Ahmad spoke sharply to the team on Monday and Tuesday.
- Since a monthly bonus for orders shipped began in July, orders have risen from 400 to 520 a month and error returns from 8 to 16. Saleh keeps reminding the team to check.
- Rayan goes quiet and leaves meetings early when a colleague disagrees with him, in calm and busy weeks, across two teams.
- A manager writes: "Dina cried in Tuesday's meeting and has been late twice this month, so she has moved down the Levels."
Part 2. Your support route (private). Write three short lines: who you could talk to inside work (for example HR or an employee support process); who you could talk to outside work (for example a doctor or a licensed counsellor); and what you would do if anyone were in danger now. Add one question to ask any service about confidentiality. Find the details where you live and work; do not share this note.
Check your work
- Me. Practise one observable step, such as waiting until each person finishes and then asking one question; write a private line after the next two meetings. Reason: the same response across calm and busy weeks, with staffing and authority clear.
- Something heavier. Talk to a suitable professional or a support service, asking first about confidentiality. Reason: it has lasted since August, reaches days off and sleep, and did not ease when work was quiet.
- System, skills and training. Arrange a short demonstration of that screen, or ask whoever owns the system to provide one; then repair with the team for the sharp words. Reason: the error follows the new system, and two people were never shown the screen.
- System, incentives. Raise the bonus rule with whoever owns it, with the numbers and an option such as counting only correct orders. Reason: the reward is for shipping, and errors doubled after it began; reminders will not outweigh it.
- Me. Practise one small step, such as saying one sentence of his view before leaving, or asking for a short break with a stated time. Reason: it appears across conditions and teams.
- The note cannot be written as it stands. Record only the work facts with dates: late twice this month. Crying is something seen, but its meaning is not known, so it stays out of a note about work. Ask Dina how she is and what she needs, and point her to support options if her distress lasts. Reason: no Level can be read from incidents.
Criteria: each kind matches the facts; each first action matches its kind; the system fix comes first where there is one; nobody is given a condition or a Level; no cause is invented (the key does not say why Tarek interrupts or what is wrong with Mansour). Part 2 is private: check only that it has the three routes and a confidentiality question.
Extra practice (optional)
Sort two more: (a) Amal has felt numb and tired on most days since June; a week of leave in August did not help, and she has stopped answering friends' messages. (b) A manager writes: "Hamad missed two deadlines this month, so he has slipped into the unhealthy Levels."
Key: (a) Something heavier: talk to a suitable professional or support service; it has lasted months and reaches life outside work. (b) The note cannot be written: record the two deadlines with dates, ask Hamad what got in the way, and treat workload or a missing step as a system question first.
Knowledge check
A manager's team of six has had three people on leave since Sunday, and she has been short-tempered on two days. What is her best first action?
A friend says: 'I have felt numb on most days for two months, even on holiday.' Which response fits this lesson?
Answers explained
1, b: the difficulty follows the work, so the shortage is raised first, and her sharp words are a smaller part she repairs. Options a and c leave the shortage in place. Option d reads a Level into a staffing gap.
2, c: the length and reach are good reasons to talk to someone qualified. Option a offers a self-coaching tool for something that may need more. Option b places a Level on a friend and waits. Option d assumes a work cause the facts do not show.
Module 3 checkpoint
Six questions on new fictional cases. With fewer than 5 correct, re-read the lesson named in the answer and try again.
Nayef writes: 'At Monday's eight o'clock briefing I cut Deema off twice.' What kind of statement is this?
Tahani says: 'I have felt tense since the new targets were announced on Sunday.' What kind of statement is this?
Wael tells you: 'Leen snapped at a supplier and missed a deadline this week, so she must have dropped a Level.' What is the best reply?
In Riso and Hudson's model, what is the average band?
Since a new approval rule began, Reem's team waits two days for every purchase sign-off, and two other teams report the same delay. Reem feels irritated most afternoons. Which kind is this mainly?
For three months Jana has slept badly and felt low on most days, including during a week of leave. Which first action fits this course?
Answers explained
1, c: one occasion that a camera could record. It is not a pattern (one briefing), not a mood (no feeling named) and not a Level. Revisit Lesson 14.
2, a: a feeling this week with a named cause and a start day. Revisit Lesson 14.
3, d: the sources give no way to read a Level from incidents, so say what happened, your own reaction and a question. Options a, b and c all keep a Level in play. Revisit Lesson 15.
4, b: the authors place Levels 4 to 6, Imbalance, Interpersonal Control and Overcompensation, in the average band. Option a is the healthy band; option c the unhealthy band; option d invents a score. Revisit Lesson 15.
5, a: the delay follows the rule and other teams report it, so it is mainly an authority problem to raise, and her irritation is a smaller part. Option b skips the system. Options c and d go beyond the facts. Revisit this lesson.
6, d: it has lasted for months and did not ease with leave, which is a reason to talk to someone qualified. Option a is a self-coaching tool for something that may need more. Options b and c assume a work cause. Revisit this lesson.
Key takeaways
- A repeated difficulty can be about you, about the system, or something heavier, and more than one can be true.
- System problems include staffing, authority, skills and training, and incentives. Fix what is yours; escalate the rest with facts and options.
- Something heavier lasts, spreads beyond work and does not ease when work eases: talk to a suitable professional or support service. If anyone may be in danger, use your workplace emergency process or local emergency services.
- None of the three kinds is a Level. Nobody is diagnosed or placed on a Level.
Sources
- Chestnut, B. and Paes, U. (2021) The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up. Hampton Roads Publishing. PDF page 272 ("Ask for help. Therapy with a professional you like and trust can be life-changing"). The printed page number is the PDF page minus 13.
- Riso, D. R. with Hudson, R. (1996) Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery (revised edition). Houghton Mifflin. The Levels as summarised in Lessons 14 and 15 (PDF pages 436 and 477 to 479). PDF page numbers are used because the printed pagination was not checked.
- The Enneagram Institute, "The Levels of Development", enneagraminstitute.com/levels-of-development. Riso and Hudson's own organisation, so it states their framework and is not independent evidence. Used for its statement that the Levels can help therapists and counselors.
- This course's own design, not the authors' and not a tested method: the three kinds and their first actions, the four kinds of system problem, escalating with facts and options, the support route and the support wording. All cases (Haya, Jasim, Tarek, Mansour, Ahmad, Saleh, Rayan, Dina, Amal, Hamad, Nayef, Deema, Tahani, Wael, Leen, Reem, Jana) are fictional.