The Moment Before You React

What you'll be able to do

• Write a work event as facts only, with your story on a separate line.
• Tell a fact from a story, from a label and from your own report.
• Name your first reaction, and write a possible motive as a possibility.
• Explain why an action you took is not proof that the action was necessary.

Your mind moves faster than the facts

When something goes wrong at work, you rarely meet just the facts. Within seconds you have an explanation, a feeling about it and an urge to act. This is normal. It is also where many first-time managers make avoidable mistakes.

Beatrice Chestnut and Uranio Paes describe most of us as living "on autopilot" much of the time: we react through familiar habits without noticing them. They describe each personality pattern as partly a habit of attention, a habit of where we look, and what we look at decides what we miss. In their chapter on Type 1, for example, they describe the first stage of growth as learning to observe yourself. This course starts there, whether or not you ever choose a type.

The ladder of inference

Organisational thinkers use a picture called the ladder of inference, usually credited to Chris Argyris, to show how fast we climb from facts to action. It is not part of the Enneagram. The version below is this course's simplified one. Rung 1 is the bottom.

The climb is fast and silent. Rung 2 is personal too: two managers can look at the same situation and pick different facts.

Four kinds of sentence

To climb back down, sort what you have.

• Fact. Someone else looking at the same records could confirm it. It says who did what, and when. "The room was booked at 9.20."
• Story. An explanation, a motive or a prediction. "She is avoiding me." "The meeting had to be cancelled." You may be right, but you have not shown it.
• Label. A short name for a person: "the disorganised type", "a lazy person". A label turns a moment into a character and ends the question before you have asked it.
• My own report. What you noticed in yourself: your body, feelings, thoughts or tone. "I felt a tight chest." It is real, but only you can confirm it, so it goes on its own line, apart from the facts of the event. Lesson 4 practises it.

An action is not a necessity

"Hamad cancelled Thursday's meeting" is a fact: it happened. "The meeting had to be cancelled" is a story. It claims the cancellation was needed, and nothing in the facts says whether a clash, a rule or an instruction required it. When you describe your own action, say what you did. Treat "I had no choice" as something to test.

One event is not a pattern

A single event shows a first reaction: what you did, or wanted to do, first. It does not show a habit. You can only call something a habit after you have seen it several times, and the course asks you to look for repeats later.

Your first reaction, and a possible motive

After the facts, name your first reaction in plain words: "I spoke sharply." Then write one line about what that reaction might have been protecting, as a possibility:

• "Maybe I wanted to protect the deadline."
• "Maybe I wanted to look reliable."
• "I don't know what I was protecting; this way of looking does not fit this event."

All three are complete answers. Nobody grades whether a motive is true.

Coming down the ladder is not doing nothing. If a deadline is close, you still act. You act on facts instead of on a guess about someone's character.

Worked example

Dalia is a new operations supervisor. Every Tuesday her analyst Khalid saves a weekly report in the shared folder by 15.00. At 16.00 she presents its figures to the director. At 15.15 the report is not there. Dalia feels heat in her face. Her first thought: "He doesn't respect my time." Her first impulse: rebuild the report herself.

She takes one minute and writes two lines.

• Facts: "15.15, the report is not in the shared folder. The agreed time was 15.00. Last month's report was 20 minutes late (the team tracker shows it). I present at 16.00."
• Story: "He doesn't respect my time. I can't rely on him. I'll have to do it myself."

Two late reports do not show why either was late, and "respect" is an attitude she cannot see. She sends one message: "We agreed the report would be in the folder at 15.00 and I can't see it. What is complete, and what is blocking the rest? I need to know by 15.30."

Khalid replies that finance told him at 13.00 that one figure would be late, and he emailed her at 13.05. She had not read it. The rest is complete. They agree he will save it by 15.35 with the late figure marked as pending. The missed time was still real and worth a conversation, but her conclusion about his attitude came from her story, not from the facts.

Watch: Observe first, from what happened to a possible motive

A short video (about 3.5 minutes) follows Hadeel, an account manager, when a report from Fares, an analyst on her team, is missing from the shared folder. As you watch, notice:

• which of three cards on screen is a fact, which is a label, and which is a story;
• how Hadeel puts her body, feeling and thought on their own line, apart from the facts;
• how one question to Fares brings out the missing facts, and why his reason explains the delay without erasing it.

The lesson teaches the same points in text, so it is complete without the video.

Your turn

Write your answers privately in your own notes.

Maha is a first-time supervisor. Nasser, on her team, prepares reports. This is the event, as supplied:

• On Tuesday, Nasser's report was due at 12.00 noon. It arrived at 16.10.
• Maha rewrote the report that night.
• On Wednesday at 9.00, at the team huddle, Maha said: "Next time, deliver on time or tell me."
• Afterwards Maha noticed a tight chest, and that her tone had been clipped.
• Maha's private notes: body, a tight chest; feeling, irritated and worried; thought, "He never takes deadlines seriously"; first reaction, at the Wednesday huddle she spoke sharply.
• Nobody asked Nasser why the report was late.

Eight lines about the event:

1. "Nasser's report was due at 12.00 noon on Tuesday and arrived at 16.10."
2. "Nasser never takes deadlines seriously."
3. "Maha rewrote the report on Tuesday night."
4. "The report had to be rewritten."
5. "At the Wednesday huddle at 9.00, Maha said: 'Next time, deliver on time or tell me.'"
6. "Nasser is the careless type."
7. "After the huddle Maha noticed a tight chest and that her tone had been clipped."
8. "Nasser probably doesn't care whether the team can rely on him."

Do three things:

1. Sort the eight lines into fact, story, label or my own report.
2. Write the event as one short paragraph of facts only. Leave out Maha's own report.
3. Add Maha's first reaction, and one line of possible motive written as a possibility. "I don't know" is a complete answer.

Extra practice (optional)

Yasser agreed on Sunday to give Maha the customer-complaints summary by Thursday at 13.00. At 13.00 it was not in the shared folder. At 13.40 Maha messaged him: "Where is the summary? Again?" It arrived at 15.30. Her notes: a hot face; annoyed and a little anxious; thought, "He does this every time" (no earlier occasion is in the facts). Nobody asked Yasser why it was late.

Sort these four lines, then write one facts-only sentence.

1. "At 13.40 Maha sent the message 'Where is the summary? Again?'"
2. "Yasser never plans ahead."
3. "Yasser is the unreliable type."
4. "Maha felt her face go hot when she opened the folder."

Knowledge check

Key takeaways

• Write the event as facts first: who did what, and when. Put stories and labels on a separate line, and your own report on its own line.
• An action you took is a fact. A claim that it had to be done is a story to test.
• One event shows a first reaction, not a habit.
• Write a possible motive as a possibility. "I don't know" is a complete answer.
• Next lesson: what your body, feelings and thoughts do in such a moment.

Sources

• Chestnut, B. and Paes, U. (2021) The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up. Hampton Roads Publishing. PDF pages 14 (living on "autopilot"), 17 (attention and blind spots), 19 (not getting too focused on diagnosis and description) and 27 (the first stage of growth as learning to observe yourself, in the Type 1 chapter). The printed page is the PDF page minus 13. Publisher listing: Simon and Schuster (the listing does not show these pages).
• The ladder of inference is usually credited to Chris Argyris. The simplified six-rung version here is this course's own and is not part of the Enneagram.
• The four kinds of sentence, the "action is not a necessity" distinction, the one-line possible motive and the cases of Dalia, Khalid, Hamad, Maha, Nasser, Yasser, Hadeel and Fares are this course's own design and fictional examples.